Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
