So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
