I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
