Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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