remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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