They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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