i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
