So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
