we have pet lesbian snakes
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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