If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
