What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
