I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
