when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
