Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
