Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Can you bring me the toilet please
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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