I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We had to coat check the pizza.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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