omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
