one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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