What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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