and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
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I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
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Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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