I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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