I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
