Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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