I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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