the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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