sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
you never un-have a 4some
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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