I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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