No more Irish car bombs ever.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
