I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize