you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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