I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
