Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize