So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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