one two three fourrrrnication!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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