Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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