Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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