She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
