Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
