Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i think i have two assholes
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Randomize