the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
