my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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