Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
