Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
