If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
