So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I CAN MOONWALK!
are you so shy because you have an std?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
