I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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