I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
