Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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