I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It's official drugs can't kill me
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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