I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
