you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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