So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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