Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
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