we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
