all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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