That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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