I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
