I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
